Suck it Up

If you are one of those wimps out there that is always complaining about something, STOP. You my friend cannot be an epic man. A real man will work and go about his business without complaint. A real man will be prepared to move past any obstacle or challenge he may face; and he doesn't do it while whining the whole time like a lesser man.

While at work the other day a co-worker of mine started complaining that my team wasn't doing his job enough. As a gentleman, I informed him that the task he was speaking of was in fact not my team's responsibility and that is was his responsibility to get his own work done. Well he didn't appreciate that and complained that my team (a group of four elite specialists) was worthless and that we should not be employed if we couldn't handle our job along with his. This didn't sit well with me. I am a man who is slow to anger, so I left him with a smile and a sound piece of advice, "if you stopped standing around all day you would have plenty of time to do your job".

My coworker and I get along very well and we are friends, but complaining about your responsibilities is just childish and in no way manly. So My Friends, go to work this week with this, work hard and leave nothing unfinished, work with integrity, and never with a "woe is me" attitude.

A man's Tale

The year was 1995, I was on a quest to conquer the wild Rocky Mountain wilderness. I had taken nothing but my backpack, which contained only three items; Items which every man needs to survive. First there was my best friend, Paul, the bowie knife. The knife is such a versatile tool, used for making my lean-too, skinning an animal, using with my flint to make a roaring fire, and pretty much anything else. Next is my flint. It makes fires, that's about it. It is essential because as long as you have fire you will survive, that is a fact of the outdoors. Lastly, there was my toilet paper.

I had been helicopter dropped in with nothing but the clothes on my back and my three item backpack. I began to hike, I hiked for three days without stop and had gone at least 100 miles. As fatigue began to set in I decided to set up camp. I began to cut down trees with Paul and building my camp, it took me about an hour or two. I started my fire and went to sleep. No more than half an hour later I wake up to a load growling roar. I look up and see an 8 foot tall blood thirsty brown bear... What a treat, you don't get to see one in the wild every day you know. But I jumped up, fully prepared to fight for my land, I had properly marked my camp site and had to teach this bear a lesson for it's utter disregard for the rules of the wild.

As the bear began to charge at me I quickly grabbed Paul and threw him deep into the forest, this would be a fair fight, his paws and my fists. We exchanged blows in a furious battle. As the bear swung his mighty claws I quickly dodged and delivered a devastating round house kick to his jaw. The pain became too much for him to bare and he fled... Proudly I stood in victory, but conflicted was my heart. My fighting got out of hand and I feared that my kick may have broken his jaw. Knowing that he would soon perish if I didn't rescue him I followed closely after him. He eventually passed out from exhaustion and gave me the opportunity to save him. So I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder and hiked into the nearest town, which was only 25 miles away (a little mountain town with no more than 150 residents).

Luckily there was a town vet to nurse the bear back to health... After I went back to camp I took a nice long nap and ended my quest with success. A few months later the vet called to tell me that the bear made a full recover and was set back out into the wild, to roam free and live a full and happy life... I will miss that bear and hope to find him again someday, he gave me one memory that I will not soon forget.

A Thick Beard?

Is it really a necessity for a man to be able to grow a bread? The answer is no, not a necessity for a man. But if you want to be seen to the world as an fine example of epic manliness you should at the very least posses the ability to grow a bread so think and dense that it will show up on an x-ray...

Sadly I cannot grow one, any suggestions on how I could? comment below!

Epic Penny Pincher

I once pinched a penny so hard Abe Lincoln started crying Benjamin Franklins. This is what men do, and women don't understand. Your wife may question your sanity at time for trying to make things work when they are obviously broken, or repairing things a million times as apposed to replacing them with a new item. Your woman may think it is absurd that you....

•  Have kept wearing those few pair of socks with the holes in the heal and the toe.
• Starve half to death because she forgot to make you your lunch and you refuse to buy overpriced food at a drive thru restaurant.
• You have wore the same tee shirt and shorts one the weekends to do chores (you know, the stained ones with the paint on the shorts and holes in the armpits), because "they are comfortable" or "no one sees me in them anyway, why would I buy new clothes"
• You drive the car until the tires are completely bald.
• Clean your shoes with bleach and an old toothbrush rather than buying a new pair.
• Use a non-smartphone (aka a Dumb Phone) which is 5 years old and hardly works rather than upgrading and paying an extra 20 dollars a month ($240 a year for all you folks wasting cash on a smartphone).

But what your lady my not know is that we do all of this for them and their life would not be the same if we were so frivolous as to buy a new pair of socks! The reason an epic man pinches his pennies is so that they can afford a good life for their wife and family, the kids are always needing new cloths because, though we wish they could be done already, they keep growing. Or perhaps your wife really thinks it would be great to buy a new pair of shoes because she has a closet full but non to wear. An Epic Man is always sacrificing the non-essentials satisfy the desires of the ones they love.

How do you save your money? Comment me to let me know!

Gotta stay fit!

I understand that is may be difficult to hear for some people out there, but it is a healthy rule. If you are an epic man, you ought to be in decent shape. I'm not saying you must have a six pack and 22 inch bicepts but you need to be fully capable of doing man things. Such as going on a five mile hike, wrestling a bear, or saving a child from a burning building. These are all simple tasks that any epic man should be able to do.

Do not feel bad if you aren't yet fit enough to be an epic man, you just need to work at it... Perhaps you should take a good hard look at your diet, maybe turn off the TV and go on a jog. One thing is for sure though, you have to want it, no one ever became an epic man without having the proper drive!

Epic truth

If nothing else, an epic man is honest! I dot care if what you are about to say will get you in trouble or not, a truley epic man will not be found lying. This includes keeping your word; If a man makes a commetment it is to be honored! So get out there and be a man you manly man!

The Great Outdoors

As I was at work today my mind began to wander, and where did it wander off to? That's right, the great outdoors. What do all real men love, NATURE! Why do we love it? I'm not sure! Perhaps what gives a man such a connection to nature a man's subconscious desire to get back to the roots. Where God himself placed our ancestors, or maybe it is the awe and wonder of seeing something not crafted by human hands but still so perfect and pure... Regaurdless how you may feel it is truly amazing... Well that being said, if you don't like the outdoors you cannot be an Epic Man, but I tell you the truth, do not despair, there are things you can do to enjoy this nature and earn your Epic man outdoorsman badge. Here are a few...

• Hiking
• Camping
• Mountain climbing 
• Swimming
• Boating (non motorized is best. ie sailboat, canoe, kayak, rowboat)
• Rafting
• Gold Prospecting
• Bird Watching

There are many more, google it if you don't trust me...

Subscribe and Comment with what you like to do to enjoy the outdoors.